Friday, May 23, 2014

After about 3 weeks with our new Lincoln Navigator, I had to give it up to my husband who needed wheels to get to work after our mini van died. It was too good to last longer than that amazing stretch of 3 weeks. So here I am. going on week three without a car once again. Lets just say it feels like slow motion the minute I hear the loud engine reverse out of the driveway up until it returns again. Sometimes only returning from the bank home to pick up my husbands Olive Garden attire. He's awesome. Man he's so good to us...
So back to the no car shpeal. All this to say that I am home with three loud, dramatic, exhausting, helpless, beautiful mess' ALL DAY. God is pressing me. Some days more pressure than others. But nonetheless there is a pressing that I am constantly resisting against.

So I ask God, a whisper, so quiet my mind barely acknowledges it,"why God, no car again"... I just experienced a nice break from being home. It's not just a car, it's a chance to escape what feels like the twilight zone. It's not just the kids, it's the mundane everyday chores. It's not just the chores, it's the huge checklist that I need to dig into and at least cross off the top to "feel productive" and approve of myself. And all this for what? I'm not seen by man for what I do. Not noticed and promoted for greater rewards... or am I?

God answered my why. It took me a few days of thinking for it to click, but He  spoke.
David was chosen by God. He was chosen through the prophet Samuel. Samuel went to Jesse and told him it was one of his sons that would procede King Saul's reign. After Jesse had introduced all but one son, Samuel asked if there were anymore. The dumb founded father answered back that there was one more son, the youngest boy,"but he is tending the sheep".... It can't be him Jesse and his sons thought. His job is insignificant. He is the baby of the family. Who knows what little goes on out there on average in this shepherd boys life.

God knew. He made David a shepherd to prepare him to be king of Israel. David passed the test. Maybe he was lonely and struggled to "feel" significant about his everyday grind. He pressed on. He fought off bears and lions to protect his flock. He was being watched by God and God saw what he did when no one was watching. When no one was there to instantly reward him.

I am called to tend my sheep. Even when I'm trapped with no car to bring me instant relief. Or when I feel lonely or struggle to find my worth in Christ, I am called to press on. God sees me when my lambs are napping and I kill a bear aka clean my kitchen. He sees me when I kill a ferocious lion that is attacking my lambs. God sees it all. I AM to always work for Him, like I want a promotion. He sees the little things. The kissed booboos and the clean dishes!!!


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